pretty self explanatory huh? it's my brain talking to you.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Hell, that's how I feel.

I was awake the whole time last night I was afraid that if I close my eyes and finally be able to sleep it'll be the morning the next minute I open them up. Yes I was so afraid for the new day to come, I guess I feel a little depressed. I am not really happy where I am career wise. I know I could do better, feel better, be better but that environment I am currently at is not giving me the opportunity to feel good about myself.

I am not wishing to be on top, I am thankful I have something to do, I am. I just don't feel like the place I called my comfort zone for years now is slowly starting to eat the life out of me. I hate waking up, I hate getting up to go there. Anywhere but there I always tell myself but day in I would always drag myself, drive down there do my routine which is just fine if only people would give me a break, allow me to do my thing and not to micromanage my life for me. Am I that stupid? For years have I been a burden, a liability? Why am I still there? Am I being given the impression that I am there because I'm a charity case?

So much drama I know, I just want to let it out. I am not happy where I am at this point and I'm having this urge inside to move on, take a risk and live my life.


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